THE WEIGHT ISSUE
(The Bold and The Beautiful)
Success it the sum of small efforts, repeated day in and day out.
I weighed in a staggering 134,8 (297,18lb) and standing 1,65cm tall it is quite a lot of weight to carry around. Given that at that time I was 9 months pregnant and was on 5 fertility treatments and then on hormone treatment for the first 6 months of every pregnancy. That is one of the many colors of my life, the ups and downs of being overweight. There were so many times when I tried to change my life and every time something happened to trigger the weight gain. Either it was medical reasons of emotional, but the fact remains, it was up and down. You can tell a person that they have the ability to change their life, but until they decide to do it themselves for themselves it will never change.
Before I was diagnosed with Graves a thyroid disorder, I remember a time when a “church lady” referred to my weight as shaming the assembly and another one called me hideous. How’s that for Christ-like character? It took me a very long time to realize that people with insecurities will target the “challenges” in somebody else’s life to make them look better.
Nobody can change your habits, only you can, and no one can change the way you think! That is up to you.
Life happens to everybody, it is how you react in times of adversity that makes a difference. The image of Mel Gibson in Braveheart comes to mind where he shouts “Freedom” in one of the last scenes. That is exactly the attitude that we are supposed to have when it comes to doing something for ourselves. So often we can have a tenacity when we are standing for our believe system or fighting for a cause, yet when we must make choices that only affects ourselves we tend to do it with a “pushover” attitude of heart. Then moment when you can take control of something basic yet of utmost importance like your weight or your lifestyle, something inside of you change. You realize that you have the power of own freewill, I know it sounds so elementary, but when food has been your boss for years and years then it is your controlling factor.
When you are flying somewhere, the flight attendant will always show you how to put on the air mask and instruct that in case of emergency, put on your mask first! If you are in a state of panic or in life – in a state of depression, anxiety and hurt – you might be able to help other people but in the process the challenges in your life increases.
This is one of the most important lessons that I have learned being in ministry for the past 30 years, living a life of serving others. The problem isn’t with serving others, it is with the cycle that can occur if you do not take the time to develop yourself, to take care of yourself and spending time with “yourself” and your family. Eventually there will come a moment when you realize that you kind off exists but you don’t have a life outside of the day to day living. The quote comes to mind, if at first you don’t succeed try and try again, but sometimes trying is so very hard if you have a history of failing.
There was a time in my life when those condemning words of the “hallelujah-sisters” were ringing constantly in my ears. Then I went through a time when I thought, boy if I can only face them now, I will give them a piece of my mind! Luckily for me, I never got that chance because I might have said something that I would have regret but life happened, and it changed my heart and I’ve come to realize that I am not defined by my weight and not by a “hallelujah-sister” in church.
You know you’re on the right track when you become uninterested in looking back.
And then this amazing 40 day journey happened!
Disclaimer: Remember, this is my journey, my personal experience and my viewpoint. It is not a medical book, the opinion of our church or a professional opinion on how to change your life in 6 weeks! I am just writing the facts and results out of firsthand experience. To verify my results of this amazing 40-day journey (and beyond) and to confirm the change in my life I have dedicated a whole chapter with letters from my husband, two of my best friends and our doctor.
I decided on a 40-day full fast, drinking tea and coffee with a splash of milk.
With every fast that I subsequently done, I have experience that after about three days my energy level increased. This was amazing, it is as if I have a new jest for life. Apparently, this is quite a normal experience and medical studies have shown that fasting for a short period has numerous positive results.
Overall, I lost 28kg of which I gained 6kg after the fast. I knew that I was going to gain some of the weight that I have lost, but the result was mind blowing. This motivated me to change my life into a lifestyle of fasting.
My skin was absolutely glowing and flawless. This was a visible effect of the 40-day fast.
Sleeping habits, depression and anxiety
My absolute triumph!
As I mentioned I was coming out of a very difficult time in my life. Anything and everything that possibly could go wrong, did just that! My life was in shambles.
I had no idea how critically challenged my emotional position was. I allowed people and circumstances to define who I was, and in the process lost my vision and my hope. Our friendships were challenged, I had to relocate my business and it took its toll, my health was deteriorating! I was a frightened, depressed and on the verge of emotional burn out, combined with a lack of self-worth. I was on scheduled medication for depression, anxiety and sleeping disorders.
It was a difficult place, bad thought patterns and awful circumstances. John Maxwell wrote in his book Failing Forward that you are ok, if failure does not get to your heart. That is what precisely what I did. Failure become like an anchor holding me in one place, a place of fear, anxiety and hopelessness. Best of all I was mastering the art of failure and just going on!
Failure is good if it doesn’t become a habit.
The 40-day fast was my intervention. I was giving something of myself for a friend and in the process, I was healed.
The Weight Issue, 40 days and beyond – done and dusted!
No one really knows what is going on in your heart, and even when you try to explain your heart, it is subject to that person’s frame of mind and point of view. It is as everybody around is moving on and you are stationary, you are drowning and everyone around you are breathing. My heart was breaking, and my health wasn’t far behind it!
By the end of the fast, I was smiling, and I had a purpose and a confidence that everything will work out of the good. I started weaning myself of the medication, every week on the fast I changed the dosage of the medication. I made a sound decision, “failure” will become a stepping stone, it is an but a moment in time it is not a lifetime.
While I was writing there came moments when I felt, you know Marelize you really need to get a grip, how could you have fallen into such a hope-deferred place? It was the place where God healed me. His presence visited me in my hope-deferred state. The Lord does not shy away from you because you are in a hopeless situation.
Sherry was visiting another city when she noticed a gloriously beautiful sunset. Wanting to share it with someone, she asked a clerk in a nearby store to come outside. Obviously puzzled, the woman followed her outside.
“Just look at that sunset!” Sherry said, “God’s in His heaven and all’s right with the world.” After briefly enjoying the beauty, the clerk went back inside, and Sherry left.
Four years later, Sherry was recently divorced, on her own for the first time, living in reduced circumstances, and feel very discourage. She read a magazine article about a woman who had been I similar circumstances. This woman had come to the end of a marriage, moved to a strange community, worked at a job she didn’t like, and was struggling. Then something happened. A woman came into her store and asked her to step outside. The stranger pointed to the sunset and said, “Gods in His heaven and all’s right with the world.” Realizing the truth in that statement, she turned her life around.